The way certain evangelical Christians process masculinity is endlessly fascinating. Seems to me that they usually invoke masculinity in an attempt to restore the "proper gender roles" those awful feminists have tried to do away with.
At what he hopes will be the first of many such conferences, in a warehouse-turned-nightclub in downtown Nashville, [GodMan Brad] Stine asks the men: "Are you ready to grab your sword and say, 'OK, family, I'm going to lead you?' " He also distributes a list of a real man's rules for his woman. No. 1: "Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down."Stine's wife, Desiree, says she supports manly leadership; it seems to her the natural and God-ordained order of things. As she puts it: "When the rubber hits the bat, I want to know my husband will protect me."
And what about when your good Christian wife wants you to lift a finger around the house or take a active role in child-rearing? Turn to one of the GodMen hymns:
You're not a slave, break the chains...
We've had enough, "cowboy up"
In the power of Jesus' name.
Yikes. Though I do find the characterization of "Onward Christian Soldiers" as "very Barry Manilow" pretty hilarious.
Amanda has more. Also check out Jeff Sharlet's piece on Nerve about books for Christian men.
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"When the rubber hits the bat, I want to know my husband will protect me."
What...does this even mean? When the rubber hits the road? Where does the bat come in? When the ball hits the bat? But by and large, it's the bat that hits the ball.
Anyway, I'm not convinced that the best way to judge whether or not my future husband will protect me is based on his inability to put down the toilet seat and/or his willingness to abandon you to take care of an infant while he jumps on tables and beats his chest.
I'm assuming by "cowboy up," they are not referring to Brokeback Mountain-style cowboy up?
Not to be lewd.
I dunno, who'd be higher on testosterone then gay cowboys on a hill in Wyoming?
These guys, I guess.
"When the rubber hits the bat, I want to know my husband will protect me."
I'm pretty sure that's been through Babelfish.
Wow! This made me laugh! I wish these people were joking.
Yep, the quote sounds Babelfishy, but dem robot wives are damn hard to program, especially when you won't take your hand off your sword.
Cowboy up, indeed.
Christian conservatives loathe all forms of homo- and bisexuality, of course, but it is the gay man (singular; he's an archetype) who looms largest in their books and sermons and blogs and cell group meetings.
Am I the only one that thinks this is because they secretly get off on girl-girl action.
::attempts, unsuccessfully, to stifle laughter::
It kind of makes me think of a little boy being laughed at in the middle of the sandbox. He's standing there, arms, folded, an angry crease across his brow. "I'm a big boy! I AM TOO! I can swear! DAMN YOU!"
It's just too darn cute to be threatening.
Of course, these guys have actual male muscle and political power, so I suppose there's reason to take this more seriously than a sandbox scuffle.
But... still... so... fucking... funny!!
Oh, also, I have to comment on this:
"A few weeks later, Stephenson, 43, is still not sold on profanity. But he has ditched the nice-guy reflex of always turning the other cheek."
Because Manly Man Jesus would never, EVER turn the other cheek. Even though he told the rest of us we should.
ohmigod! the best part of the "books for christian men" link is that it was published in Apr/05, and it defers to Ted Haggard (of gay prostitute-provided massages and meth fame) on a number of issues, mostly around sexual and particularly homosexual immorality. lmfao!
See, this just makes me want to learn to pee standing up. I want to watch their wee brains explode.
Are you ready to grab your sword and say, 'OK, family, I'm going to lead you?
Wow. If I'm ever chased by an army of vicsious orcs, I know who to call... Brad Stine and his mighty... erm, sword.
... some men at the conference run into trouble when they debut their new attitudes at home. Eric Miller, a construction worker, admits his wife is none too pleased when he takes off, alone, on a weekend camping trip a few weeks after the GodMen conference this fall.
"She was a little bit leery of it, as we have an infant," he reports. "She said, 'I need your help around here.' "
Miller, 26, refuses to yield: "I am supposed to be the leader of the family."
Apparently, being "the leader of the family" means, "I don't give a flying fuck about family; all I care about is exercising my arbitrary authority to be as infantile and unthinkingly selfish as the baby you just squeezed out." Is this what masculinity means to these people? How horrifying.
"When the rubber hits the bat, I want to know my husband will protect me."
My boyfriend, in his infinite wisdom, says he understands this. He says that the rubber is actually a hockey puck, and what's happening is that this guy has his family in the middle of a frozen lake, with a baseball diamond set up on it. The baseball players are using cleats on the ice, and the hockey players are pissed that the baseball players are fucking up the ice, so they keep getting into fights. He's protecting his family from the hockey/baseball ice brawl.
Sorry to bring this up , Soullite, but "vicsious orcs" looks too much like they're having trouble getting out of the honey jar. I'm a geek.
Anyway, at Willamette University we're way ahead of you. Well, at least one guy is. He got a grant to study how Christianity affects men's sense of masculinity. Pretty much the same conclusions (plus a few who are encouraged to be gentle instead of "manly"). I love my school. I'm also glad I ditched Christianity about the same time I found out Santa was actually a blond 30 year old woman who slept in the room next to me.
And Babelfish can't come up with anything that stupid.
how Christianity affects men's sense of masculinity
I had to go to a Messiah sing along today bc my brother was a soloist and was reminded how masculine Christianity is.
Hallelujah! For the Lord God omnipotent reigneth. The Kingdom of this world is become the Kingdom of our Lord and of His Christ, and He shall reign for ever and ever. King of Kings, and Lords of Lords. Hallelujah.
We all stood up and sang this and other choruses over and over and I was vaguely turned on. I'm sure it turns heterosexual men on. I've always wondered why more male politicians weren't gay with all the power they have the same way girls are said to admire and have crushes on women teachers at all-girl schools. Alot of lesbianism is admiration. Anyway, we learned this season alot of male Republican politicians are gay. Sorry for the major tangent.
Not to mention how scripture leads women to admire men and keep them in line.
"When the rubber hits the bat, I want to know my husband will protect me."
My theory is that she's trying to sound like she knows nothing about sports 'cause her husband would freak out if she showed signs of intruding on his "domain", e.g. by showing interest and knowledge, independent of feining interest to show that she's interested in his stuff and to let him explain sports to her, about sports.
Donna Darko,
A lot of heterosexual love is admiration too.
Hey cycles - did you check this out?
"WOMEN! Tired of having to hover six inches above a urine-spotted toilet seat in order to pee? Sick of having to squat behind bushes to urinate when hiking? Desperate to win a pissing contest with an obnoxious, I-can-write-my-name-in-the-snow, male? Suffer no longer!"
Lots of info at:How To Urinate Standing Up.
A lot of heterosexual love is admiration too.
This goes without saying.
Bearcat! You're a geek! And to think we argued on other threads...seriously, though I loved soullite's SWORD reference, despite the honey. Now we know we just need to find and orc army; that will keep the Christian soldiers busy, at least until the Right Reverend Gandalf steps in. ; )