The fabulous Deanna pointed me in the direction of this poem. I love it so fucking much, I just had to repost it here.
It's after the jump. Sigh.
pick-up lines for feminists
Lesley Kartali
making the move
at the bar
the club
the pro-choice rally
or the conference
on women's rights
in the 21st century
is no easy task
for feminists
young and old.
how do you
subtly ask for digits
while still making it
perfectly clear
that you are fine
being alone
and are certainly
not buying into the idea
that women are worthless
without a significant other?
just remember to smile.
or not.
(depending on if you
feel like it)
and try some
of these lines
on for size:
if i could rearrange
the alphabet
i would put u and i
together
and then we could
work on trying
to think outside
of this male dominated
language.
your paradigm or mine?
you're so sweet
you put hersheys
out of business.
so sweet
you can bring down
all those
bastard big businesses.
somebody better call
god/allah/buddah/
assorted goddesses/etc.
because he/she/gender neutral being
are missing an
angel/messiah/messenger.
*if atheist this line may not work
did it hurt?
when you fell
from the top
of the hierarchy
when society
identified you
as a woman?
pinch me.
with consent of course.
you are so
third wave
i must be dreaming.
where have you been
all my life?
hopefully fighting
against oppressive
patriarchal systems.
your feet must be tired.
because you have been
running through my
mind and struggling
against the repressive
gender roles
that we have been
socialized into
all day.
if the personal is political
then our getting together
has the potential
to subvert the patriarchy.
what's your sign?
radical? liberal?
socialist? cultural?
eco?
if these lines fail
don't worry.
it's probably just
because our
fascist media
has embedded
said pick-up line
receiver
with the idea
that you are a
crazy
scary
man-hating
castrating
bitch.
just keep telling yourself.
if they haven't
started questioning
what society
tells them yet.
then maybe
they are not
the one
for you.
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my day is officially made.
Love it.
did it hurt?
when you fell
from the top
of the hierarchy
when society
identified you
as a woman?
I actually lol'd at this one. And I'm forwarding this to my boyfriend.
Clever. But um, why is it in poem form? What with the lack of rhyme, meter, alliteration, consonance, assonance, or concrete structure, I can't help but think that it would make so much more sense presented as prose.
I was never a fan of pick up lines. I favor a direct approach, something simple like a "Hello" or such
One day back when I was in college I was eating my breakfast alone in the dining hall and a very hot guy asked if he could join me and he didn't even know I was a feminist.....now we've been dating for 3 years.
Excellent!
This is the funniest thing I've read in a while. Awesome!
Love love love it!!! Thanks so much for posting it!
That is great.
My favorite one is "Are you from heaven? Because I have an erection." If only for the remarkable cheesiness.
soo funny. already forwarded it to all of my friends.
I love this one:
"if the personal is political
then our getting together
has the potential
to subvert the patriarchy."
(Reminds me of the "being in love is totally punk rock" shirt from here: http://www.asofterworld.com/shirts_asw.htm )
i'm glad ya'll enjoyed this poem i wrote. i was taking a feminist poetry class at college and by the end of the semester wanted to write something more lighthearted and informal than all the intensely personal/political poems i had been writing. i later submitted it to lodestar quarterly and was surprised that it was the one published. anyways, i am glad it made folks laugh. that was certainly my intent :)
i'm glad ya'll enjoyed this poem i wrote. i was taking a feminist poetry class at college and by the end of the semester wanted to write something more lighthearted and informal than all the intensely personal/political poems i had been writing. i later submitted it to lodestar quarterly and was surprised that it was the one published. anyways, i am glad it made folks laugh. that was certainly my intent :)