Well, if a woman is looking for "a man to look after her" acting helpless is probably a good way to find one. Of course, using "feminine wiles" and acting weak will reinforce perceptions of women as manipulative and weak.

Their approach is as insulting to men as it is to women. One partner manipulating the other is the last thing any relationship needs.

Acting helpless is the fastest way to be abused in a relationship.

Russian women have some of the highest incidents of abuse by husbands and boyfriends of any country, barring some horrible place like Afghanistan.

All this couple is doing is packaging and selling what Russian women have been told for a millenia. Because it sounds familiar, the women believe it.

I definitely find this interesting, as I used to live in Russia. From what I witnessed, Russian women needed no education in the art of using their "feminine wiles" to appear "helpless" in order to snag a man... You might be interested in reading this post, which I wrote after discussing feminism with a Russian conversation class I taught while I was there.

Didn't Maureen Dowd write something like this?

Cheers,

TH

This is interesting when placed against an advice column I read a couple months ago - that American men looked for wives outside the country because they wanted meek women who acted like *real* women (needy, weak, etc.). But here we have women who are taught to look meek but are secretly bitches...

So how many of those wishers for foreign wives have actually met a real person from outside the country?

From another perspective, I once asked my mom why I had a hard time getting a boyfriend and she said it was because I was too independent, that I had to show some weakness so that he would feel needed. I didn't agree with it phrased that way, and I don't really agree with it here. But I know quite a few ladies to whom this particular "hidden" talent comes quite naturally.

Bitch School = The Rules (which advocates acting weak to manipulate men into marriage. It is mean-spirited to both men and women)

That was me, donna darko, on another computer.

Colddaye, I'm tempted to pin this on the fact that most Americans never even leave the US in their lives. But for that I need to know that these mail order bride businesses are strictly American (and possibly Canadian), that is that there are no similar industries in Britain, France, Germany, etc.

I like the intro paragraph:

"With the number of eligible bachelors dwindling in Russia, women in the country are now taking lessons in how to snare the man of their dreams."

Supply and demand romance! How to get ahead by maniupulating someone into loving you emotionally and fiscally.

Alon – unfortunately I have a feeling that we also have mail order brides in the UK, and there are companies based here.

I actually said something along these lines in the mail order bride thread... If American men think they're ACTUALLY getting a meek little lady, a large portion of the time, they are likely very mistaken.

I guess the basic idea is that women are at a disadvantage, so they need to use whatever means they have at their disposal to get ahead? I personally disagree. Maybe as things change in other countries, they will all come to disagree too.

I like the intro paragraph:

"With the number of eligible bachelors dwindling in Russia, women in the country are now taking lessons in how to snare the man of their dreams."

Supply and demand romance! How to get ahead by maniupulating someone into loving you emotionally and fiscally. - satirelikefire

Yeah, that part smelled of "The Rules" to me. Also, wouldn't it be more effective to deal with the "dwindling numbers of eligible bachelors" problem first? I've heard that russian men drink and drug themselves into an early grave, along with a good number of eastern european guys.

It'd be better than propogating the stereotype that women are weak and manipulative as well as making foreign suitors less attractive to the ladies MOB agencies look for.

As a proud Bytch, Y can tell you the whole thing is a bunch of dogshit. Why was this story even picked up in the first place - and it is in a lot of places- when it's nothing but a so-called charm school?

What Y found so interesting about the thing is that in my attempts to edit the page "patriarchy" in wikipedia, which is in a disgraceful state, one of the censors calls himself SecondSight. His claim to fame is that he is a Stanford student who participates in the Seduction Community described thus:The seduction community is a loose-knit subculture of self-help teachers and men who strive for better success with women through self-improvement and a greater understanding of social psychology.It exists largely through Internet forums and groups, as well as over a hundred local clubs, called "lairs". Supporters refer to the subculture simply as 'the community'and often call themselves "pickup artists."(from the wikipedia 'seduction community' entry)
Why don't they just call them selves liars instead of lairs? At least they admit that they think they are pick-up artists. Their subjects probably get their good sex the same way as their russian sisters, from each other. Ha ha.

Incidentally, would love to hear about anyone's attempt at editing wikipedia.

I'm with poeslygeia.

Same old story. Fresh minty taste of new marketing.

Oh. And I'm mildly irked at the preference for "money" over "a man who looks after you." On a scale that starts at "abuses", runs through "ignores" or "is indifferent to", and continues on to "looks after" - I'd like to hope my partner would place me closer to the in the "looks after" end of the spectrum.

Is there really a difference between "cares for" and "looks after" as verbs here? Is any amount of money going to compensate when your partner doesn't "look after" you?

I'm mildly irked at the preference for "money" over "a man who looks after you." I'd like to hope my partner would place me closer to the in the "looks after" end of the spectrum.

Men put looks above all in what they want in women. That's even more irksome because looks are meaningless in the grand scheme of things. Besides Russian women apparently want great sex more than anything:

"Great sex, money and a man who looks after you."

Is there really a difference between "cares for" and "looks after" as verbs here? Is any amount of money going to compensate when your partner doesn't "look after" you?

It means emotional care, sensitivity, etc. and moderation is the key and all of one and none of the other probably doesn't work.

Besides Russian women apparently want great sex more than anything:

"Great sex, money and a man who looks after you."

/snark

colddaye writes:
From another perspective, I once asked my mom why I had a hard time getting a boyfriend and she said it was because I was too independent, that I had to show some weakness so that he would feel needed.

Not that you need the endorsement of a random male stranger, but I am so completely turned off by women who pull the manipulative "needy" crap, and I can see it coming a mile away. Any woman who isn't emotionally strong enough to stand up for herself and be her own person is way too emotionally fragile to walk with me on the road I've got ahead of me. I'm more than happy to be her shoulder to lean on, but every now and then I'm going to need a shoulder, too. The way a good relationship works, close friendship or otherwise, is "I have your back, you have mine." I'm interested in peers, not submissives.

Cheers,

TH

When you consider the type of man who is likely to be seeking a mail-order bride, it is very possible this type of manipulation would work.

I don't see any value in predator training.

Of course perhaps there are women out there who'd rather be predators than humane individuals. However, in my neck of the woods, varmints are shot on sight.

Now, this is just a thought that popped into my head, and I have no basis for it, but I know a few people that act "weak" and are manipulative. I think there are like that (unless, in a culture it's taught, I'm talking about in general) because they're afraid of getting emotionally invested and then getting hurt. By playing tricks the entire time, their relationship is like a game and it'll hurt less. Just figured I'd share that thought.

Tom Head writes:
I'm interested in peers, not submissives.

Tom, have I mentioned how awesome you are?!

I wish more men thought like that.