Hey, I've definitely been to that place before. Weird.

New girlfriends! Now with Certificates of Authenticity!

Maybe you could get a girlfriendfax report before you consider purchasing a used woman--actually, now that I think about it, I would like to be able to get such a report on a man before I date him!

This seems more a comment on the insecurities of males in their relationships than anything. I understand that the literal implication of a girlfriend being a belonging is hard to get past, but isn't there a latent lampoon on males who view their mates as trophies based upon incredibly superficial crieteria, and who would treat their mates as such?

If I had the time and the money I'd sue the coffee shop when my bag gets stolen since the sign clearly indicates that it does not apply to hetero women.

I live in Chicago, and thanks for the heads-up. I'll be sure to not ever patronize this place and encourage other Chicagoans to do likewise.

And it's in Wicker Park (a pretty progressive-minded neighborhood) to boot.

OH MY [INSERT DEITY OF CHOICE HERE], I think it was just supposed to lighten up the mood of a somewhat harsh note that they felt had to be posted.

Not every little thing has to be taken so seriously. Getting upset about this is counterproductive, makes anyone proud to call herself a feminist look like a humorless troll, and distracts us from actual misogyny and mistreatment.

For the love of all that is holy, crack a smile once in a while. Jeebus.

I can't read here anymore, between getting up-in-arms about stuff that doesn't matter in the larger picture, and commenters trying to impress everyone with their women's studies thesis language, this place has become shrill (yeah, I said it) and foul. I'm going to go be a feminist somewhere else, where people actually make jokes, even (gasp!) about women. Equal treatment means just that, and sometimes it means making (and actually laughing at) jokes poking fun at women. Get over it or start asking for preferential treatment.

If I were going to stick around, I might make a comment about the girlfriendfax, where we think it's so tasteless to suggest such a thing for women and use that as an example to illustrate how awful this sign is, then in the next sentence "joke" that it would be funny if we could get one for men. I can't stand hypocrisy, I see an awful lot of it around here in the name of feminism, and it makes me nauseous.

Yes, I'm a woman. No, I am not a self-hating anti-feminist. Yes, I thought the sign was funny. Yes, I think boyfriendfax would be useful, and therefore in the interest of fairness would have to accept girlfriendfax as well if such a thing were to be offered. I just think we have bigger problems than this, and sometimes we get so spun up that every little thing starts to look like a gender-based slur. Would you have gotten so upset if it said "boyfriends" instead? Probably, not because boyfriends are property, but because it would have implied that all women are man-stealing whores.

Bah, I'm beating my head against a wall here, because no one is going to agree with me, but man. I had to get it all out.

Jennaratrix,
Actually, I was thinking about a girlfriend as a possession (because Jessica implied that is what the sign implies), like a car, and I started to type the joke about girlfriendfax and then realized how useful that really would be. That's why I then pointed out that it would be useful. I didn't say it would be bad for that to be available for men to look up women but not for women to look up men or men or for men to look up men or women to look up women!

You say you are going to go where people actually make jokes and yet you are criticizing me for doing just that.

"Bah, I'm beating my head against a wall here, because no one is going to agree with me, but man. I had to get it all out."

I'll agree with you. I thought it was pretty harmless and kinda funny. I'll also agree that it "was just supposed to lighten up the mood of a somewhat harsh note that they felt had to be posted."

Oh, one more: I'll agree with you that the tone here has been pretty damn shrill lately.

it "was just supposed to lighten up the mood of a somewhat harsh note that they felt had to be posted."

I don't know why people find it easy to "lighten up" at the expense of women.

I don't imagine that they are gonna have a sign up that says the same thing about boyfriends anytime soon. This is not "making fun" of women, it is just putting women in the same category as wallets laptops etc.
"Making fun" of women is fre. "Make fun" of an ethnic group and we'll see you in court.

The preferred terminology by my ex-husband and his crew for wives, girlfriends, kids and other bits of miscellanous chattel was the catch-all phrase: "The Luggage."

When I was young and naive, I thought this was a funny thing to say. Until I realized that they weren't being funny, just using humor to avert attention from how serious they really were.

I'm all for jokes. But that's not a joke. And asking not to be referred to as property is NOT a request for preferential treatment. Had they added 'boyfriends' on there as well, then it would have been funny. But they didn't.

Now, do I personally think that someone was trying to offend with that? No. It was probably just some idiot guy who worked there who thought it would get a few laughs. It's not like they went out of their way to objectify women. But it's still offensive, because it does.

On another note...

"If I were going to stick around, I might make a comment about the girlfriendfax, where we think it's so tasteless to suggest such a thing for women and use that as an example to illustrate how awful this sign is, then in the next sentence "joke" that it would be funny if we could get one for men."

Umm...correct me if I'm wrong, but didn't you just make a comment about Girlfriendfax after saying you would only make a comment about it if you were going to stick around?

Jennaratrix, it's evident you are upset with Feministing. Then leave. To rant about it like so is to make it seem like you are only after attention, which you got. Good for you.

Yeah, we're clearly pretty humorless. *rolls eyes*

I do think that it's one thing to make jokes that may offend people, and it's another thing to question why exactly those jokes are funny. Sometimes people do too much joking and not enough questioning, and vice versa. Just because you question a joke doesn't mean you don't have a sense of humor.

And like others have mentioned, if you want to leave, leave. You don't have to flounce and huff your way to the door.

I am well known for my sick sense of humor, but I would have found that note offensive, probably to the point of asking management to take it down. There were so many ways they COULD have made that note funny (as mentioned above), but they didn't, so it lost its humerous punch and crossed the line to durogatory.

And as for women asking us to "suck it up and laugh once in a while?" Only proof to me that the patriarchy is firmly embedded everywhere, including posters at Feministing. I hate seeing other women bow to this shit, but there you have it. Don't let the door hit ya...

I understand that they were trying to be funny here, but I don't understand why it has to be at the expense of women, or how pointing out that this sign is only funny at the expense of women is bad. I mean, it would have just been a funny sign had it said :

We cannot be responsible for disappearing laptops, wallets, significant others, etc.

It wouldn't be singeling anyone out, it would just be funny. Instead they took a different route.

If only there was a Humorful Coffeeshop Sign Camp of some sort... there isn't? (eyes turn into dollar signs)

If I were going to stick around...
Gooooooodbyyyyyyeeeeee cruel bloooooooog!

Jenna, if it helps I admit to being shrill which started many months ago with a bunch of trolls. The only way to argue with them was with knowledge and evidence so I sometimes went overboard to prove my points. I will let up on that and have more fun in life. :D

Remember hujo, et al? Good times, not.

What about couple that is made up of two women? Which one is property then according to this sign?

they're property of the coffeeshop of course

I would like to be able to get such a report on a man before I date him! - Liz

I take it, then, that you are not a member of a relatively insular (for this purpose, Jews constitute a sufficiently insular community) community then?

If you were, you'd get such reports offered to you for your dates, even if you didn't ask for them ...

"they're property of the coffeeshop of course"

Now that's funny Jessica!

Sorry if you found this shrill, Jennaratrix, but the sing is pretty sexist. It implies not only that women are property but that they're so oozing with wanton sexuality and so lacking in impulse control that, as Michael said in an episdoe of Arrested Development, "you gotta lock that shit down" (although that was a very funny joke). If you're a guy at a coffeeshop with your girlfriend and you get up to take a piss, you're liable to come back and find her...well, fill in the blank with whatever level of ribaldry suites your tastes.

And I don't see anything wrong with looking at how subtle things like this sign reinforce sexist attitudes and behavior.

I agree with everyone who is saying it was a harmless joke. I really don't think it was the intent of the poster to mark women as actual posessions, nor is it really making the world a better place.

And to all of you who say "possession," I say, it says "belongings." My boyfriend *does* belong to me, and I belong to him. He is mine. That is not to say that either one of us posesses the other, but that we have specifically designated ourselves to the other, reserved ourselves.

Overinterpretation of language leads to more overinterpretation of language. Chill out. I'm sure there are some on this site who scoff at the word "girlfriend" itself, as if society is unfaltering in its labels, and monogamy is a result of a patriarch. But it's not that bad.

"I agree with everyone who is saying it was a harmless joke. I really don't think it was the intent of the poster to mark women as actual posessions, nor is it really making the world a better place."

That's not the point, dmrnj. I think most people here would agree the sign was mostly made without serious thought. That's what's troubling about it -- it kind of suggests that society views women as "belonging" to men somehow (but not vice versa) and don't even think about it. The point of this post is to make us think about it. Why is it okay to think of women as "belongings"?

I also don't like the notion that any person, male or female, can "belong" to anyone else. I believe in monogamy but don't think it entails having someone "belong" to you. You can love and trust someone without "belonging" to him/her. I've never liked the idea that you have to "belong" to someone else to be loved, as though that person somehow gets some control over you. Caring about someone and not wanting to do anything to hurt that person is extremely and importantly different from "belonging" to that person. In a good relationship, both people are still individuals, wholly complete in and of themselves. I love lots of people but belong to no one. And I think any relationship where someone wanted to exert ANY form of control over me, would not be a good one (in fact, I'd likely leave that relationship pretty quickly).

Also, the association of women with other pieces of property makes the proprietary connotation a reasonable inference.

Yeah, jeez, even Jessica Simpson knows she doesn't "belong" to a romantic partner, she "belongs" to herself!

But seriously, it's just as important to address the quote-unquote "little" things, like this sign, as it is to tackle the more violent and hostile "misogyny and mistreatment" (to use Jennaratrix's words) out there...both do damage and both undermine our efforts. It's enduring the "subtle" sexism day in and day out that makes me want to give up or wish I were invisible some days. Let's not pretend there's no well-documented history of women constituting men's property / possessions / arm candy / accessories since time immemorial, and let's not pretend it's just coincidental that it doesn't say "boyfriend" as well.

Charity, you make a good point - it's the subtle, seemingly harmless sexism that's so pervasive and hard to fight, especially with so many people saying "chill out, it's just a joke." An overt sexist can be ridiculous and easy to blow off as a backwater weirdo, but the veiled hints and inuendo made all around seem worse to me. It's like "sexism lite," but I think it's more dangerous specifically because if its perceived harmlessness.

Of course, patriarchy doesn't do much for men either - if the sign just said "boyfriends," then the stereotype there is of the man-child idiot who can't find his way out of a paper bag and needs his mommy/girlfriend/servant to do it for him.

Just adding $0.02: I've personally always found the whole "you belong to me" trope common in love songs, etc., whether it's a guy or gal singing it, to be, well, more than a little creepy.

Peter Paul and Mary did a good send up of this sort of thing (making it as creepy as possible "I want you, I need you ... and I'm going to have you") in one of their rock music parodies.

OMG, you're all so heteronormative! I'm super offended. Why do you see the word "girlfriend" and assume "in a hetero relationship"?

I'm joking. Well, sort of. Look at me, I can be shrill WITH a sense of humor.

I agree with Kat in that it's all a joke... until it isn't. As they say, it's all fun and games until someone loses an eye.

I also agree that if you're pissed off with a blog you should just leave. And you know what makes me nauseated? People who act as if hypocrisy is the worst crime anyone has ever committed. Yes, feminists (like all other human beings) are sometimes hypocritical. Show me someone who is never hypocritical, and I will show you a dead body. That doesn't mean we shouldn't try to limit hypocrisy; but if that gets you physically ill, you have a problem.

End rant. Feel better now!

First I thought they didn't add "boyfriends" because they were lazy, and then I realised that the word "spouses" is even shorter than "girlfriends." Sure, it refers to married instead of unmarried couples, thereby excluding same sex couples, but that's really not important in this context.

I wouldn't say I'm being shrill, either. When I see stuff like this, I don't get all up in arms, but I do grit my teeth and shake a fist in annoyance, because I shouldn't have to deal with this shit all the time. Come up with a new joke, people. This one is old, tired, and wasn't funny in the first place.

Full disclosure:
I thought the sign was funny.

FWIW, I called Filter, since I am a denizen of Bucktown and frequent patron. Not only did the female employee that answered the phone find the whole thing rather amusing, she pointed out that the owner is a woman, is aware of the sign and apparently has no issue with it.