I saw that video clip of the "Rescue Me" rape. It was terrible. I cannot believe that we can show this on television - a man punching, beating, and raping his wife.

RE Rescue Me: I only saw the news segment footage, but it looked like rape to me. While I have no problem with things like this on TV, I do wonder how Dennis Leary can deny it was a rape depiction.

I just don't begin to understand how one could say that it was anything BUT a rape scene. That Mr. Leary took a "well then just don't watch" attitude towards it makes me wonder about his own personal experiences with sex. Tell me something, sir, what would it have to include to be a rape scene?

Also, I hate to double post, but my boyfriend reads a comic strip called "Real Life Comics" and today's comic was topical.
http://www.reallifecomics.com/comics/2006/20060630_1685.png

I had to read the background on their relationship to make that scene okay but to the casual viewer it is rape. Something like he is her ex-husband and they have always been very attracted to each other but the casual viewer doesn't know this. Therefore this normalizes rape and violence against women.

Thanks, Esme. I just bookmarked "Real Life Comics."

I didn't really want to watch the scene--I've had zero interest in Rescue Me--but I just did, and yeah, it looks like rape. Though it's worth mentioning that the CNN version is heavily cropped, based on the reports I've read.

I would have been willing to tolerate it if the producers' reaction had been "Yeah, it was wrong, and Leary's character will face consequences for it." After all, even I've seen enough Rescue Me to know that Leary's character is no saint--sharing some similarities with Vic from The Shield.

But what bothers me is that instead of hearing "No, it wasn't intended to come across as a rape, and maybe we did a bad job of conveying what we were trying to convey in that scene," or even "It looked like a rape, but it wasn't," it's "It wasn't a rape, how dare you suggest that it was, and maybe you're not our kind of audience if you're willing to take that possibility seriously." Then they drag us into some idiotic debate over whether forcing yourself sexually on a woman constitutes rape. Uh, news flash: Look up the definition of "rape," fellas. That's what the word means. Placed within the context of the plot--where he and his ex-wife were arguing violently, and then he forced himself on her--it is an obvious rape. Physical violence as a power display. Period. Case closed.

So if I ever had any intention of watching Rescue Me, I don't anymore. And I've lost a lot of respect for Denis Leary as a human being--not for filming the scene, but for refusing to take spousal rape seriously. The "how dare you" crap I'm seeing from Leary is both uncharacteristically whiny and thin-skinned of him, and a violently misogynistic attitude to have. It legitimately makes his own personal life fair play for future criticism, I think, and if any woman ever accuses him of sexual violence, I will find it much easier to believe the accusation right away than I otherwise would have--because he has already made it clear that he does not have a particularly solid grasp of what constitutes consent.

Cheers,

TH

Excellent post, TH.

Esme, I read the comic, in regards to "The Devil Wears Prada." I'll tell you what really struck me, which might not have occurred to everybody. Why are these women taking their bf/hubbys to chick flicks anyway? These are movies they can easily see with their friends, daughters or sisters. Why drag the guys? There was an article I read not that long ago which talked about a study finding Americans with a lack of friends in modern society, and an increasing reliance on family. This is a perfect example of that.

I remember going to see "The Vagina Monologues" and it was very moving and also funny. However, there was a big man in the row behind me who was crass and loud. And when the part of the show came (for those of us with vaginas) to take back the word and yell "cunt" aloud in an expression of empowerment, he yelled it louder and longer than anyone else in the theater. I finally said something to him and all the women around me thanked me. (His wife said nothing.) Then I looked around the theater and noticed a good 50 percent of the audience was male. Although it is never discouraged, these shows did not start out that way. The point of the show is empowerment, and raising charity money for abused and assaulted women. That kind of show simply begs "go with your friends!" Do these women not have friends? Or do they just get off on the power trip of being able to make their man go anywhere?

Really, I'd like to know why this phenomenon exists. So any comments are welcome.

By the way, TDWP was great. Loved Meryl to death. Anne Hathaway was a beautiful foil. I went to see the film only because I know Meryl bestows a humanity on her characters (even in campy films) which trancends stereotyping. So I knew that while it would be a chick flick, it wouldn't necessarily be a bitch flick. Meryl was stunning and brilliant. The movie was also hilarious. I recommend it.

In regards to another topic on this thread, Pro-Choice renaming, I posted my ideas at Broadsheet.

The two things that disturb me most about the Rescue Me clip are first, that people are deciding it is not rape because "she never said no", and second, that the producer describes the relationship of the two characters as follows: "Our feeling has always been that Tommy and Janet are in a highly dysfunctional relationship (obviously), a negative vortex fueled by only one positive - a faint glimmer of love that is constantly overshadowed by truly fantastic physical attraction."

So somehow, kicking and thrashing and scratching and fighting are no longer enough to signal your lack of consent. You have to remember to say no. Furthermore, the idea that "fantastic physical attraction" somehow explains or excuses what Denis Leary's character did is just appalling to me. There was no love in that scene -- just brutality.

Tom, again you have written a lovely, eloquent post that expresses exactly how I feel. I am distressed, to be honest--I've always loved Leary, more or less because he always combined an excellent rock and roll sensibility with real intelligence and thoughtfulness--and that always included, for me, the way he talked about women in his stand-up routines. Really good stuff. I watched the first season and some of the second of Rescue Me, and I really liked it--well-written, well-acted, not afraid to be funny as well as brutal. But this--no. The show has always had some real problems with how it portrayed women--the female firefighter was a dink, and Leary's cousin's widow was a nightmarish cariacature of a shrieking, needy, sex machine, domestic violence was limited to the widow's girlfriend beating her up (not that this doesn't happen, but if that's the show's final word on domestic violenct? Come on.)--but this is really beyond the pale, and I'm disappointed.

"The Devil Wears Prada" is almost certainly not a feminist movie from my perspective. What really got me about the film (aside from it being frustrating from an insiders perspective: The Real Devil Wears Prada: Working In Fashion My Way) is that the moral appeared to be that you will lose your boyfriend if you follow your dreams so better cater to his whims. Also no one loves your boss because she is a career woman who gave up friends and family for her "job" so don't be like her. So very frustrating!

"The Devil Wears Prada" is almost certainly not a feminist movie from my perspective. What really got me about the film.....is that the moral appeared to be that you will lose your boyfriend if you follow your dreams"
Posted by: AlmostGirl

**Spoilers**

I didn't see it that way. I mean, in this post-feminist world? No, I think it wasn't half bad. We've been through plenty of career-girl bashing films and tv specials which have actresses unhappily sacrificing family to get ahead in her career. But this doesn't do that - you just have to look closely at it.

1. Miranda on the surface appears to be a callous, loveless bitch who goes through yet another divorce for her career. Yet we warm up to Miranda, through Meryl's very human portrayal of her. Miranda gets a lot of respect (not envy or hate) from the people around her, including Andrea. Andrea defended Miranda, genuinely. And even when she quit, she didn't do it out of malice she did it for her own benefit. At the end of the movie, Miranda smiles at seeing Andrea again. That pause was so significant that her driver did not proceed. Miranda seems honestly happy in her career choice. She is not a) confused b) guilt-ridden, or c) regretful.

2. Andrea learns a lot from Miranda and her editor. Early on, she was panicked and full of guilt for putting her boyfriend second to her career. But there was a subtle change as the movie progressed. The result is NOT that she gives it up and goes running back to him. She gives it up and goes running back to herself. She finds her own identity, and by the end of the film that identity and her needs are no longer tied to Miranda or to her boyfriend. Remember when her boyfriend said the woman on the phone was the person she was "really" in a relationship with? So she was really involved with two people. And in the end she kind of outgrew them both. I don't see her "losing" either one. It was her choice.

Did anyone happen to see the end of this week's episode of Rescue Me? She raped him.

This show now has a third straight week with a rape. This time Tommy is raped after being tricked into taking a date rape drug.