So it must be cool.
The students who started one of Princeton University's newest clubs remember the awkward moment when they realized they were in the minority: while watching a play called "Sex on a Saturday Night."The play is put on for incoming freshmen to inform them about sexual health and safety. But to some students, there was just too much talk about sex.
"I remember sitting there and feeling really uncomfortable because every single character had either engaged in premarital sex or was talking about having engaged in premarital sex," said Christian Sahner, 20, a junior from Maplewood, New Jersey.
Eek! You mean a play about sex had sex in it?!
So about a year ago, the students formed a group promoting chastity. While similar groups exist at other universities, it is a first for the Ivy League. The groups first sprung up in the South, but the idea is catching on nationwide, said Jimmy Hester from "True Love Waits," a Nashville, Tennessee-based group that promotes abstinence....People who want to take part in the society's activities don't have to sign a pledge or take an oath. Some members may have had sex in the past, and leaders say the group is open to everyone, even those who may just be interested in exploring the idea of chastity intellectually.
I’m still trying to figure out what that means.
Organizers say students respond with a mixture of respect and curiosity. Others acknowledge their choice is a rare one. {Junior Caroline] Chopko said some have a "warped perception" of what it means to practice chastity."It's not like we don't dance or have fun," she said.
Well, there goes my Footloose theory. Ok, bad one-liners over.
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Sigh - another abstinence group that promotes the stereotype that every virgin over the age of 18 is religious and waiting for marriage ... with the added bonus of being anti-abortion (the hell?).
I think chastity could be a feminist hallmark - it is about having control over your body and your choices, after all (as opposed to giving in to societal pressure or "do-me" feminism).
And since sex is serious, I think people should wait until they're emotionally ready (and by that I don't mean marriage, though if you want to wait, that's your choice, not mine).
However, those who advocate saving sex for marriage tend to subscribe to the belief that a woman has to be a virgin, but a man doesn't have to. And they tend to be self-righteous and exactly like those Princeton kids. They're precisely the people who give not having sex a bad name.
Brunette, not having sex doesn't need these jokers to have a bad name. This is not to say that not having sex is a bad thing to do, just that it's a lot less fun than having sex. I appreciate your perspective, and find it refreshing to hear a pro-chastity perspective that's not at all about guilt or damnation. I was always glad to join in on the fun when it came to sex, but it doesn't always turn out to be fun when you have an abusive boyfriend or don't have ready access to contraceptives. Eventually, sex is going to be a part of everyone's life, but I think that taking some time to sort out your feelings and your desires is a great way to steady oneself against the demands of others.
Hmm... I thought every college already had Abstinence groups. They are called Accounting Majors.
Thank you, thank you, I will be here all week. Please tip your servers! :D
just wanna give nuff unqualified respect to the brunette... more power to ya.
plenty of women (and men) are socially or otherwise coerced into having sex before they're in relationships where it could really turn into making love... and that just sucks...
Thanks for the responses! By the way, I'm not a virgin, or celibate - I'm in a serious relationship that does have a fair bit of sexual activity, and yes, I'd rather have sex than not. But if I can't, I know I can always do my best to please myself. ;)
I did lose the big V at a relatively late age (21), so I get hypersensitive to most societal portrayals of adult virginity. Of course, you have the self-righteous religious/social conservative celibates that you keep reading about (and if you're the exact opposite, it's hard to feel comfortable with having the same sexual history as them). Then you also have The Virgin® stock character in girly TV shows and movies. While she's generally quite pretty, she happens to have never had sex, and her virginity is all that defines her. Then, once she falls into bed with someone, she suddenly becomes sophisticated and develops a personality. That new ABC sitcom "Hot Properties" has such a character, though perhaps she won't have a chance to lose her virginity, given how horribly the show has been received. ("The 40-Year-Old Virgin" doesn't count, since Andy Stitzer's virginity is the whole point of the movie ... and even so, Andy had more dimensions to his character than The Virgins® do.)
So with messages like these, it's easy to feel pressured into having sex for the wrong reasons. And when you have sex out of duty - whether it's to an abusive boyfriend or to yourself so you could feel "normal" or like a "proper" feminist - it becomes a chore. And sex should never be a chore. Do it for love, or do it because it feels good, but don't do it because you feel you have to.
As for the story that launched all my words, I feel abstinence clubs contribute to unhealthy attitudes toward sex in the society at large. And this story first appeared in newspapers here in N.J. about a month ago, so it's disheartening that the "novelty" of Ivy Leaguers saving sex for marriage has legs to make Naomi Campbell jealous.
These young jokers are undermining the cause of free sexual expression and setting feminism back by decades. Their hypocritical and self-righteous chastity group makes a mockery of freedom and choice. If young women and men don't want to have sex, then they should be publicly shamed and ridiculed by bloggers until they see sense.
I think 'exploring the idea of chastity intellectually' means reading Augustine, Plato, Aquinas, Marchese, et al.