I dunno. Could be a good thing if you can't get away with faking it anymore and actually have to overcome the ego issues and teach him to get you there.

Amanda, that's one major issue, and there's another one. Why is sex so often goal-oriented? Of course, PV penetration terminating in male orgasm is a lot more narrow than a view that sex is any kind of genital stimulation terminating in orgasms by all participants. But it's still narrow.

I'm not trying to brush your point aside, of course. As long as there are women who have never experienced orgasm (!!) or who have never experianced it with a partner, I think the lack of female satisfaction is the preeminent problem.

But laying aside women who fake it because their partner is incompetent, there are women (and men!) who fake climax simply because their partner's ego is at stake. Even in couples that communicate well. I know past partners have faked orgasms with me -- when I was younger, I had a goal-oriented view of my partners' satisfaction, but not all women are the same and a woman who was typically "one and done" left me feeling like I hadn't totally rocked her world. (I'm more mature now, and my wife is done when she says she's done.)

(There are some reasons for faking orgasm that don't travel through anybody's ego, of course -- for example where one partner is really done and can't come again, but fakes to to arouse his/her partner.)

Agreed, but I do think that some women hide behind the "it's not about the destination" thing also to avoid hurting a male partner's feelings. The ego thing is difficult--I'm not sure how to get ego out of sex, speaking as someone with a shamefully huge ego.

Talk about missing the point. . . the only way the scanners would be fooled is if the women were fooling themselves - we know when we're faking it and wouldn't have to if we could induce the changes in the brain by just thinking about it.

Amanda, I can't even take the ego out of miniature golf. When I was admitted to practice law, there was a little cartoon character holding his hand up with a sign that said, "your ego must be THIS big to practice law." I don't know how to get ego out of sex. I'm just talking about redirecting it to less simplistic goals and measurements.

:) The weird thing is that I still tend to think that most people have incorporated some sex positivity into their lives, especially if they are in a long term relationship. If you're in a LTR, you probably have a good grip on the concept of fucking someone when you're not totally in the mood to give comfort or affection because you know your partner needs it. And that can be enjoyable in itself, since it's a loving act. But lately I'm wondering if my trust in humanity is a bit misplaced.

From a related article:
""Holstege said he had trouble getting reliable results from the study on men because the scanner needs activities lasting at least two minutes and the men's climaxes didn't last that long."

I dunno, I just thought that was a funny complication of the experiment. Speaking purely as a scientist, of course.

What I got out of the article was one of the last paragraphs.

Shutting down the brain during orgasm may ensure that obstacles such as fear and stress did not get in the way, Holstege proposed. "Deactivation of these very important parts of the brain might be the most important necessity for having an orgasm," he said.

Maybe this research will lead to better insight on the evolutionary advantages of the orgasm.

women definitely fake orgasms all the time. I am not sure why they do it all the time. I guess this makes their husband happy but is deceiving them too.
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