Just in case your mid-life crisis and/or dick complex wasn't obvious enough
Now you can let the whole world know by purchasing "truck nuts," whose website thoughtfully asks: Does your truck got balls? Nothing like a well placed grammatical error to emphasize your manliness.
Also sold as "bumper nuts," these lovely accessories come in a variety of colors--even blue. Sigh. What ever happened to good old-fashioned bumper stickers? Shit, I'd even settle for a Jesus fish...
I have seen these on several vehicles and I didn't know what they were! All of the vehicles I have seen them on have had Bush/Cheney bumper stickers, too! Coincidence?
Terri -- holy cow, people actually -bought- those dippy-looking things and put 'em on their vehicles? I'm actually pretty surprised. My husband's a big 4X4 enthusiast who loves All Things Truck-Related, and he really genuinely loves having the bad taste it takes to ride around in a flourescent lime green Suzuki Samurai while wearing the loudest, most clashing-est tacky Hawaiian-style shirts -ever-, and even -HE- took one look at Truck Nuts and declared them among the stupidest "accessories" he'd ever seen. None of his 4X4-driving friends would ever be caught dead driving around with a pair of plastic cojones dangling from the back of their vehicle ever. "Stupid-looking, pretty pointless, and too lame to be funny" is how one of them characterized it.
Kim,
Yes, I have seen them! There is one particular car that I see all the time on my way to work. I thought it was something left over from a towing experience. But, then I saw the same thing on other cars.
I agree...they aren't the least bit funny!
Ah, but don't you all see the advantages?!
You know that completely impotent feeling over our anger we all get when we see SUV drivers that obviously never go anywhere near anything remotely resembling dirt? (easy test: check out the rear axle, if it's clean, they don't go off-road: automatic car-washes don't get to that on an SUV).
Now, we can walk up and kick the damn thing in the balls!!
The guy (or woman, theoretically) will then get into his/her car, only to find it completely incapacitated and unable to start! Just merely gasp and splutter!
This is our chance to take back the roads from these gas-guzzling bohemoths!
(course, those of us that actually use SVU's for offroading, getting to mountain hiking trails, getting up to skifields and mountain biking trails would never stoop to putting something like that on our machines, so we are exempt!)
So, go on! Kick 'em where it can now hurt! *evil grin*
A pair of testicles on the back of an SUV or a truck, with a Bush/Cheney bumpersticker? Now isn't that over-compensating? Bwhaha! So mean...
I gotta admit it's amusing to see a behemoth SUV with teeny-tiny balls. The dick can't be much bigger. Talk about a lack of penis confidence. Heh.
At least they've been shaved...
What's more important then? Conventional wisdom was that the penis had all the power. But I guess if you don't have the balls...
What's more important then? Conventional wisdom was that the penis had all the power. But I guess if you don't have the balls...
oh god.... i see these *all the time* here in san diego... it's really creepy!
I first saw these on a tour with a busload of zany Bulgarians. They were hoisted deep under the truck, just behind the differential. Up there, it is almost as if the driveshaft were the penis.
At the time the Bulgarians were all moved at the sheer idiocy of we americans.
I was thinking about how to castrate them, I had assumed they were plastic, but now, having visited the website, I know them to be , and that would require a hacksaw, or a blowtorch...
But I have seen more and more now, (always in the south and always red!)
One more thing, these ALWAYS mark a truck that NEVER goes offroad: they would be damaged by rocks and at least bent.
Yet another sign that america has gone insane.
The websites indicate that they are sold by Sam Stone in St.Petersburg, FL.
Apparently he doesn't have the TUBES to provide equal rights. From his FAQ page :
"Will you ever have female anatomy?
No we do not plan on carrying the woman's body parts."
I have a HUGE lifted FORD that goes off road all the time with these truck nuts you guys obviousely hate and they never get damaged. It all depends on the placement of these truck nuts if that has ever occured to any of you. I am female, and I put these on my truck because most of the time, my TRUCK has more balls than most of the guys out on the road.
I don't think Feministing wants to rumble with Wonkette.