My friends are constantly pointing out some of the weird suggestions that show up on their school's "sex and health" pages. However, these are, without a doubt, the least-thought-out ideas I've ever seen.

A floor lamp? A) there's no way that's safe, and B) I don't even want to picture the mechanics of that setup.

There's an interesting perspective at this site: http://www.tubgirl.com

Happy Valentine's day!

I've heard of using some strange things before -- hairbrush handles, etc. And more than one person's joked about the 'vibrate' function on a cell phone. But, whether the article was written to be a humor piece or not, I was left going "What the...nyurrggh...." After all -- just about any one of us who lived their teen or pre-teen years through the late-80's/early-90's has had a curling iron burn from doin' up those big, poofty mall-hair bangs. Now to have that recollection while also hearing in my head the sound of super-hairsprayed hair sizzling in the clamp of the curling iron, while reading about how to use one for masturbatory purposes? Yeah. Ouch.

Crappy advice all around, and not even all that funny. The phone will not stay on long enough to get off. And the curling iron -- are they free enough of rough edges to be a fun penetration toy? I'm skeptical.

(About the heat -- I have heard of women using curling irons _as_they_warm_up_ to experiment with pain play, but that's definately the advanced class.)

This is one of those areas where folks feel much more comfortable playing sex for laughs. I'll bet the editors thought that the suggestions were so clearly outrageous as to make the article a parody, and that they would never think of running a serious column on masturbation and sex toys.